Sound Effects and Quotes

Dr. Julian Bashir Lt. Malcolm Reed

Quotes--Bashir unless otherwise noted
Some quotes may just be useful if I want to use them for a audio story. Or just might be a fun sound effect for a computer sound.

Season One

Hold it there!
Full Quote (bigger file): Hold it there!
I love this because it's The Voice (TM). Bashir uses The Voice (TM) and anyone listens and does what he says. It's like a secret power.

Computer, replay morning.
Glass lunch judge a bin to let it.
Bashir gets the aphasia virus.

Captive Pursuit
Sisko: Hail Them
Just for sound effect.

We don't have that much time.
Sound effect at this point.

I'm afraid it's more complicated than that.
Incorporates one of my favorite professors' mantra.

I'd like my medical bag...if you don't mind
Full Quote (bigger file): ...if you don't mind
2nd use of The Voice (TM). They're presently held prisoner and he gets his medical bag after that quote.

The Storyteller
I'm glad you came along on this mission, because, if it wasn't for you, I'd have done what I could for the Sirah and, and look what I would have missed!
The first of a great tradition of Bashir/O'Brien banter (and I don't mean that in the "slash" way). Bashir just teases O'Brien in his uncomfortable predicament. There will be so much more to come from both sides.

The Forsaken
Nothing makes them happy! They are dedicated to being unhappy and to spreading that unhappiness whereever they go. They are the ambassadors of unhappy!
One of my favorite quotes from the funny side of Bashir.

Season Two

The Siege
Come on.... Now!
The Voice (TM) again, and a reluctant Quark obeys, leaving behind his case of latinum.

Invasive Procedures
Now, listen to me, Yeto, or whatever your name is. I don't give a damn about your warrior ethic or your Klingon philosphy. This woman is dying and I need your help to save her. Now take this instrument!
Bashir uses The Voice (TM) to make Yeto, a Klingon guarding him in the Infirmary, help him save Jadzia. The Klingon, of course, obeys.

So you're going to tell me what's going on inside that plain and simple head of yours, my Cardassian friend, or we're going to sit here until we rot!
Fun line by Bashir where he takes charge of the situation with Garak. With maybe a little of The Voice (TM) thrown in.

The Alternate
I prescribe rest, because it's hard for a doctor to go wrong with that one.
Full Quote (bigger file): I prescribe rest....
One of Bashir's funny doctor lines.

Bashir to O'Brien: "Sorry, I know how you don't like doctors." O'Brien: "It's not doctors..." Together: "It's you, Julian."
So the Bashir/O'Brien (again, not slash, never slash with me) banter begins and the reluctant (on the Chief's part) friendship starts to grow.

The Wire
Garak: "Doctor, did anyone ever tell you that you are an infuriating pest?" Bashir: "Chief O'Brien, all the time, and I don't pay any attention to him either!"
Another great line that I like.

Bashir: "What I want to know is, out of the all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?" Garak: "My dear doctor, they're all true." Bashir: "Even the lies?" Garak: "Especially the lies."
Another fun moment with Bashir and Garak.

The Jem'Hadar
Quark: "Humans used to be a lot worse that the Ferengi. Slavery, concentration camps, interstellar wars.... We have nothing in our past that approaches that kind of barabarism."
The most impressive thing Quark ever said.

Season Three

The Search, Part I:
I need to go down to what is laughingly called a sickbay.
I love it.

Bashir: "Now if that little story didn't put you to sleep, I don't know what will." Dax: "You're a very dear man, Julian."
Ah a sweet moment, and all his fans knew that already.

Kira: "Listen to me. You can't have a runabout. You cannot get your medical supplies. I don't give a damn about the colonization schedule! Those colonists can make do with a box of bandages for all I care!" Bashir: Stop right there, Major! When was your last day off?" Kira: "I don't know! What does that have to do with anything?" Bashir: "If you can't remember, then it's been too long. You're off duty, as of this moment." Kira: "What do you mean, I'm off duty? You can't do that." Bashir: Oh, yes, I can. And not even Commander Sisko can override my judgment as Chief Medical Officer." Kira: "Now, now wait a minute, Julian. Just because I snapped--" Bashir: "My diagnosis is that you are overworked and suffering from extreme stress and borderline exhaustion. As for my prescription...follow me." Quark: "Carbino juice...gormet crackers...a holosuite program...jumja stick--and gambling tokens." Bashir: "Now, at least two of these items must be used and fully enjoyed before you leave this facility." Kira: "Julian, I--" Quark: "I'll be giving you a full report, Doctor." Bashir: "And if I hear you didn't completely relax and enjoy yourself tonight, we'll do this every night until you do. Have fun!"
It's a very long one (and thus a big file), but a fun one and one where Julian gets to pull rank as CMO.

Life Support
Please, don't make me fight you on this one.
There were a lot of good ones in this ep, but this one just had so much depth of feeling and vulnerability in it.

Bashir: "Well, you do have one problem. If all you can hallucinate about is Quark's maintenance problems, you have a sadly deficient fantasy life." O'Brien: "Well, thank you for your professional opinion." Bashir: "Oh, any time. My doors are always open to you, Chief!"
Fun banter
Oh! Well, who am I to argue with me?
Fun line

Distant Voices
Garak: "Look at yourself. Your bones are as brittle as twigs; You can't catch a breath. You can't even stand, let alone walk." Bashir: "But other than that, I feel wonderful!"
Bashir, keeping his sense of humor in the face of adversity and discouragement.
Garak: "And what I find interesting is how your mind ended up casting me in the role of the villian." Bashir: "Oh, I wouldn't read too much into that, Garak." Garak: "Oh, how could I not? To think after all this time, after all our lunches together, you still don't trust me....There's hope for you yet, Doctor."
More intrigue with Garak

O'Brien: "Do you know what I think?" Bashir: "What?" O'Brien: "I think she's in love with you." Bashir: "Eh, I don't think so." O'Brien: "It's the only explanation! Unless...Unless she really ignored you because she can't stand you!" Bashir: "Isn't there some explanation in between?" O'Brien: "Well, you're not an in between kind of guy." Bashir: "What do you mean?" O'Brien: "Well, people either love you or hate you." Bashir: "Really?" O'Brien: "I mean, I hated you when we first met." Bashir: "I remember." O'Brien: "But now...." Bashir: "And now?" O'Brien: "Well, now, I don't." Bashir: "That means a lot to me, Chief. It really does." O'Brien: "Really! Now, and that is from the heart! Huh? Huh? I really do...not hate you anymore."
Fun drunken banter

Season Four

The Way of the Warrior, Part I
Garak: "Perhaps..they decided they just didn't like me. " Bashir: "Not like you? Impossible."

The Way of the Warrior, Part II
Dukat: "I find this whole procedure offensive." Bashir: "And I find you offensive. Now hold up your arm or I'll have a Security officer do it for you."

Hippocratic Oath
Bashir: "...if anything, by spending your free time in the bedroom, a place you intimately associate with Keiko, you are actually expressing a desire to be closer to her during her absence. It's quite touching. Really." O'Brien: "Exactly! Exactly! See, you understand. Why can't she see that? Why can't she be more like...." Bashir: "More like?" O'Brien: "...a man! More like a man." Bashir: "Sooooo, you wish...Keiko was a man?" O'Brien: "I wish I was on this trip with someone else, that's what I wish."
Bashir catches O'Brien in a verbal trap.
Bashir: "Good work, Chief! You keep this up, you may make a fine officer someday." O'Brien: "Oh, thank you, Lieutenant. Coming from you that means a lot to me." Bashir: "I know. Carry on."
Bashir and O'Brien use banter to cover their escape planning.

Starship Down
Bashir: "....You were always avoiding me." Dax: It was just, you came on so strong. You never really gave me a chance to get to know you." Bashir: "You're right. I didn't. Well, don't worry, Jadzia, it's been a long time since I've had that particular fantasy." Dax: "Oh?" Bashir: "You sound disappointed." Dax: "Julian!" Bashir: "That's right! You enjoyed being chased and now you miss it." Dax: "That's preposterous! And if you start chasing after me again--" Bashir: "Don't worry, Jadzia, now I know you liked it, I don't need to, do I?"
For the shippers. And while I'm not one, that scene makes me smile anyway.

Our Man Bashir
Bashir: "You'll be fine; it's just a flesh wound." Garak "That was awfully close! What if you'd killed me?" Bashir: "What makes you think I wasn't trying?" Garak: "Doctor, I do believe there's hope for you yet." Bashir: "I'm so relieved."
Much to Garak's surprise, Bashir shoots him to keep him from possibly killing Sisko, Dax, Kira, O'Brien and Worf.

O'Brien: "I don't know why Captain Sisko insisted on my being here." Bashir: "Well, maybe he just wanted to see you in your dress uniform. It does show off your figure." O'Brien: "Why, thank you."

Hard Time
O'Brien: "Now's the part where you tell me I have to start seeing Counselor Telnori again." Bashir: "Unless you want to talk to me." : "Telnori will be fine."
The playfulness after an intense moment shows O'Brien is recovering, and their friendship.

The Quickening
Ekoria: "But death comes to everyone eventually." Bashir: "Except Kukalaka." Ekoria: "Kuka-who?" Bashir: "My first patient. A teddy bear." Ekoria: "What's that?" Bashir: "Oh, it's a sort of, um, soft puppet. Anyway, when I was a little boy, I took him everywhere I went. And after a few years, he became a little threadbare until eventually his leg tore and some of the stuffing fell out. My mother was all set to throw him out, but I wouldn't have it. Because at the tender age of five, I performed my first surgery. I restuffed him and sewed his leg closed. From that day on, I did everything I could to keep Kukalaka in once piece. I must have sown and stitched and repatched every inch of that bear." Ekoria: "Why were you so determined to keep him together?" Bashir: "Well, I wouldn't be much of a doctor if I gave up on a patient, would I?" Ekoria: "Where is Kukalaka now?" Bashir: "Oh, in a closet somewhere.... (Sigh) ...On a my room."

Special Feature
Hidden quote from Sid.

Season Five

Trials and Tribble-ations
O'Brien: I wouldn't take it personally, Worf. Bashir: "I rather like the way you smell." O'Brien: "Yeah, a sort of earthy, peaty aroma." Bashir: "With a touch of. . . lilac."
One should be subtle when teasing a Klingon.
I'm a doctor, not an historian.
An echo of Dr. McCoy for this tribute episode.

The Assignment
Bashir: "You don't need me there. I've seen you handle your wife thousands of times. Just say you're sorry and that you take full responsibility. You'll be fine! Besides, I, uh, have to be in surgery, operating." O'Brien: "On who?!" Bashir: "I'll find someone!"
A classic!

By Inferno's Light
It's either a self-sealing stembolt or a reverse-ratcheting router. I'm just not sure.
Bashir, standing up to the Jem'Hadar and stalling for time.

Dr. Bashir I Presume
O'Brien: "Wow, think of it, Julian. If this thing works, you'll be able to irritate hundreds of people you've never even met!" Bashir: (laughs) God.
Bashir is surprised to see his parents.
O'Brien: "So it's true? You're--" Bashir: "The word you're looking for is 'unnatural' as in 'not from nature.' 'Freak' or 'monster' would also be acceptable.
This is the short quote. Whole speech is below.

O'Brien: "So it's true? You're--" Bashir: "The word you're looking for is 'unnatural,'" Bashir calmly fills in, "meaning 'not from nature.' 'Freak' or 'monster' would also be acceptable.... I was six. Small for my age, a bit awkward physically. Not very bright. In the first grade, when the other children were learning how to read and write and use the computer, I was still trying to tell a dog from a cat and a tree from a house! I didn't really understand what was happening. I knew that I wasn't doing as well as my classmates. There were so many concepts that they took for granted that I couldn't begin to master. And I didn't know why! All I knew was that I was a great disappointment to my parents. I don't remember when they made the decision, but just before my seventh birthday, we left Earth for Adigeon Prime. At first, I remember being really excited at seeing all the aliens in the hospital. Then they gave me a room, began the treatments, and my entire life began to change." O'Brien: "What were the treatments? Some kind of DNA recoding?" Bashir: "The technical term is 'accellerated critical neural pathway formation.' Over the course of the next two months, my genetic structure was manipulated to accellerate the growth of neurinal networks in his cerebral cortex, and a whole new Julian Bashir was born!" O'Brien: "In what way did they...change you?" Bashir: "Well, my mental abilities were top priority, of course. My IQ jumped five points a day for over two weeks! Followed by improvements in my hand-to-eye coordination, stamina, vision, reflexes, weight, height. In the end, everything but my name was altered in some way. When we returned to Earth, we even moved to a different city, and I was enrolled in a new school using falsified records my parents obtained somewhere. Instead of being the slowest learner, I was the star pupil!" O'Brien: "And no one ever suspected?" Bashir: "Oh, there's no stigma attached to success, Chief. After the treatments I never looked back. But the truth is: I'm a fraud." O'Brien: "You're not a fraud. I don't care how many enhancements your parents had done. Genetic recoding can't give you ambition, or a personality, or compassion, or anything that makes a person truly human." Bashir: "Well, Starfleet Medical won't see it that way. 'DNA resequencing, for any reason other than repairing serious birth defects, is illegal. An genetically enhanced human being is barred from serving in Starfleet...or practicing medicine.'" O'Brien: "I don't think there's been a case dealing with this in a hundred years. You can't be sure how they'll react." Bashir: "Oh, I am sure. Once the truth comes out, I'll be cashiered from the service. It's that simple." O'Brien: "There must be something we can do. We can't just give up." "There is something I can do: Resign...before Dr. Zimmerman files his report." O'Brien: "Oh Julian!" Bashir: "It's over, Miles. I always knew this could happen and now it has. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to be alone."

Business as Usual
O'Brien: "What are you telling me? My baby's just sad?" Bashir: "Perhaps he's become prematurely aware of life's existential isolation." O'Brien: "Are you sure it's not a rash?" Bashir: "Look on the bright side: He'll probably be a great poet."
Cute line, that!

Ties of Blood and Water
Fine, if that's what you want. But I think you're making a mistake. Regardless of what Ghemor's done in the past, he doesn't deserve to die alone. No one does.
Beautifully sincere line of good advice.

Soldiers of the Empire
Martok: "Doctor, thank you." Bashir: "If you really want to thank me, don't walk in here dripping blood anymore. It takes days to get it out of the carpet!"
Said to Martok after Martok thanked him his services (after he yelled at him several times as Bashir scolded him.) Comeraderie between these ex-prisoners of the Dominion. (Sorry if the sounds are quieter from here on out. My netbook was repaired and while other things got better, my sound card got worse. So I'm now recording on my husband's laptop, which always seems to not record as loud. My laptop is just as bad as my netbook, which adds a terrible squel when I record--though it sounds fine when I play. And the soundcard on my desktop is not even worth mentioning. I took the speakers off that one. I could get the netbook repaired again, but I really don't want to be without it for 2 weeks again.)

Season Six

A Time to Stand
Dax: "Don't worry. We'll try not to have any medical emergencies while you're sleeping." Bashir: "I'm so glad you find the lack of proper medical facilities amusing, but if trouble breaks out, it's not a viewscreen, or a chair, or even a sandwich you'll be wanting. It's a biobed with a surgical tissue regenerator." Dax: "Maybe, but right now I'd settle for a viewscreen." Nog: "Or a chair." O'Brien: "Or a sandwich."

Rocks and Shoals
Vorta: Ah, I am alive." Bashir: "No self-diagnoses, please! I'm the doctor here. Your internal hemorraging has stopped. Your free collagen levels are dropping. Tissue growth factors have stabilized nicely, and there's a fifty percent rise in cell oxygenation. You are alive."

Sound Effects

DS9 (Cardassian) Technology
DS9 Security Cell Forcefield Off
DS9 Security Cell Forcefield On
DS9 Security Office Door open & close
DS9 Security Office Door Open
DS9 Security Office Door Close
DS9 Prefect's Office Door Chime
DS9 Prefect's Office Door open & close
DS9 Prefect Door Open & Close (2)
DS9 Prefect's Office Door Open
DS9 Prefect's Office Door Open
DS9 Quarters Door Chime
DS9 Quarters' Door Open & Close
DS9 Quarters' Door Open
DS9 Quarters' Door Close
Garak's Shop doors open and close
DS9 Infirmary Door open & close Warning: very quiet
DS9 Shuttle Bay Door open
DS9 Airlock
DS9 Red Alert (loop for effect)
DS9 Photon Torpedoes
Cardassian Transporter
DS9 Forcefield (Stops a person)
DS9 Tractor Beam
DS9 Hail
DS9 Comm System
DS9 Being Hailed
DS9 Computer sounds
DS9 Ops Sounds
DS9 Ops Sounds (2)
DS9 Ops Sounds (3)
DS9 Computer "Unable to Comply"
DS9 Computer: Affirmative
DS9 Open Channel
DS9 Transporter (Ops)
DS9 On Screen (Ops)
DS9 Infirmary Sounds (Tricorder, computers)
DS9 Ops Turbolift
DS9 Turbolift
DS9 Emergency Power Down
DS9 Replicator
DS9 Replicator (2)
Sounds from Quark's bar
Sounds from Quark's bar (2)
DS9 Station hum
DS9 Science Lab Sounds
DS9 Science Lab Sounds (2)
DS9 Science Lab Sounds (3)
DS9 Science Lab Sounds (4)
DS9 Replimat Sounds
DS9: Openning a hatch, then setting it aside
DS9: Climbing a ladder
Cardassian Phaser
Cardassian Phaser (2)
DS9 Replimat Sounds (2)

Bajoran Technology
Bajoran Hand Phaser Fire
Bajoran Hand Phaser Fire (2)
Bajoran Hand Phaser Fire (3)
Bajoran Commbadge
Bajoran Commbadge not connecting

Federation Technology
Enterprise-D's transporter
Runabout Transporter
Federation Communicator Badge
Comm Answer (Sisko's office)
Communications Cutoff (Runabout)
Medical Tricroder
A medical instrument
Federation Tricorder
Federation Tricorder and (DS9) corridor wall panel
Runabout Computer Sounds
Computer Responds
Runabout Replicator
Runabout Engine Shutdown
Runabout Power Up
Runabout Phaser Fire
Runabout Tractor Beam
Runabout going to warp
Federation Hand Phaser Fire
Federation Hand Phaser Fire (2)
Federation Hand Phaser Fire (3)
Federation Engineering Tool
Runabout Crash
Runabout hits an instability
Galaxy-Class Starship Phaser
Battle sounds on Bridge of Galaxy-Class Starship
Defiant cloaking
Defiant Decloaking
Defiant Bridge Sounds
Defiant Red Alert
Defiant Main Power Down
Defiant taking fire
Defiant Phasers
Defiant Shuttle Sounds
Defiant Quantum Torpedoes
Defiant goes to warp
Defiant Autodestruct sequence sounds

Dominion Technology
Jem'Hadar Decloak
Jem'Hadar Gun firing
Jem'Hadar Ship firing weapons
Jem'Hadar Ship firing weapons (2)
Jem'Hadar Ship firing weapons (3)
Jem'Hadar Transport

Deep Space Nine Miscellaneous
Odo Shapeshifting
Wormhole Opens
Season One Opening Theme
Season One Closing Theme
Ship Explodes
Romulan (hand) Disruptor
Dart Bull's Eye in Quark's
Explosion on DS9
Season Four Opening Theme
Season Four Closing Theme

Quotes--Reed unless otherwise noted
Some quotes may just be useful if I want to use them for a audio story. Or just might be a fun sound effect for a computer sound.

Season One

Broken Bow, Pt. 1
(Imitating Trip) "Keep yer shirt on, Lieutenant."
Reed's first sign of humor. His face, accent and friendliness with Travis caught my attention.

Broken Bow, Pt. 2
They're called phase pistols. They have two settings: Stun and Kill. It would be best not to confuse them.
Reed delivers the new phase pistols. There is a rumor that he developed them.

Fight or Flight
Archer: "Come on, Travis. We've got to find Mr. Reed something to blow up."
Funny hint at Malcolm's favorite pasttime. Later in the ep, he'll suggest using microcharges to open the alien ship's hatch, but Archer finds the release and apologizes for it.

Breaking the Ice
Travis: "Impressive!" Reed: "Eh...I was hoping for a little more symmetry." Another fun quote but about Reed and his explosion hobby.

Cold Front
Permission to take my station.
Reed teases Travis, who sat in the captain's seat after Reed left him in charge of the bridge for a few minutes.

Sleeping Dogs
To quote our very own Mr. Tucker, 'it means we're dead in the water.'
Malcolm imitate's Trip again.
If there's one thing on board this ship I ought to be able to figure out, it's the torpedoes.
A somewhat funny line in a crisis.

ShuttlePod One
Reed: "Sometimes I think you North Americans read nothing but comic books and those ridiculous science fiction." Trip: "I'll have you know that Superman was laced with metaphor."
Reed/Trip (never slash with me) banter.
Static Reed: "Does that sound modulated enough for you?" Trip: "Modulated?" Reed: "The radio? Or is that just the galaxy giggling at us again?" Trip: "It can giggle all it wants, but the galaxy's not getting any of our bourbon."
Drunken Reed/Trip banter.

"Don'tcha recognize me, Travis?"

Travis: "Uh, Wages of Fear...classic French film." Reed: "Hmm." Travis: "No, you'll like it. Things blow up." Reed: "Huh. Sounds like fun."
Sorry it's a long one, but another bit of poking fun at Reed's hobby.
You promised me explosions.
A follow up when the Wages of Fear is starting late and Reed gets second thoughts.

Fallen Heroes
If you must know, I much prefer the shooting back part.
Fun line in the response to Trip asking if he likes people shooting at the ship.

Desert Crossing
I'm a quick study.

Archer: "So where were we?" Reed: "Sir?" Archer: "This morning, at breakfast, before we were interrupted. You said you didn't follow any particular sport." Reed: "Well I'm afraid I haven't started following one since breakfast, sir."
Reed can be a bit snarky when he thinks he's saying the obvious.

Dead Stop
Reed: "It can't be ethical to cause a patient this much pain." Phlox: "It's unethical to harm a patient; I can inflict as much pain as I like."
Kind of fun and kind of spooky.

The Communicator
Archer: "We're doing the right thing, Malcolm. I'm sorry you won't get a chance to write that report." Malcolm: "It could still happen, sir. I'm expecting a rescue party to come barging through door, any moment."

Sound Effects

Earth technology
Comm Open (Earth to Shuttle)
Beginn Transmission
Ship Comm Beeep
Comm Chirp: Ship to Communicator
ENT End Comm: Ship to EV Suit
Ship Comm Acknowledge
Open Communicator
Communicator Static
Door Chime
Door Control Key
Door (Hatch) Open
Ready Room Door Open
Engineering Sounds
Bridge Sounds
ENT Bridge: Science Station Sounds
Mess Door
Mess Door Open
Mess Sounds
Mess & Ship Hum
ENT Ship Hum
Captain's Mess Door Close
Captain's Mess Door Open
Bridge Turbolift Open
Turbolift Open
Turbolift Close
Turbolift Sounds
Warp Core
ENT Walking the Deck
ENT Personal Log
ENT Pause Personal Log
ENT: Rifle Shots
EM Sidearm Fire
Phase Pistol firing
Target Practice Prep
Target Practice
Loading Phase Pistol
ENT Torpedo
ENT Grappler
Shuttlepod Drop & Fly
Shuttlepod Drop & Fly (2)
Shuttlepod Flight
Shuttlepod Docking
Shuttlepod Sounds
Medical Device
Decon Chamber
ENT Transporter
ENT taking fire
ENT taking fire (2)
Mine exploding on Enterprise
Two Forward Phase Cannons Fire

Vulcan Technology
Vulcan Tricorder (while walkiing)
Vulcan Rifle

Andorian Technology
Andorian Handgun

Suliban Technology
Suliban Hand Weapons (while running)
Suliban Hand Weapons
Suliban Cell Ship Flyby
Suliban Cell Ship flying
Inside Suliban Cell Ship flying
Suliban Cell Ship Weapons

Enterprise Miscellaneous
Strength of the Heart -- Theme
Novan Music from Terra Nova
Romulan Ship firing
Romulan Decloacking
Romulan Mine Explodes


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